Couple Faces Public Backlash After Giving Up Their Son For Questionable Reasons
A horrid predicament burdened Myka and James Stauffer after they adopted a child from China: They were in over their heads, and they questioned whether they were the right fit for their fresh-faced little boy. Nevertheless, they documented their whole adoption journey for everyone on YouTube to see. That's why people started asking questions when, without announcement, the little boy stopped appearing in family videos.
Myka and James Stauffer
YouTuber Myka Stauffer and her husband, James Stauffer, produce videos that share lifestyle and parenting tips, as well as their own family dynamic. These kinds of content creators, called "family vloggers," are criticized for exploiting their children for views and cash.
Big Announcement
But Myka and James, who are now parents to four biological children, received a wave of scrutiny after a certain incident had people questioning their motives. The story began in July 2016, when Myka uploaded a video to her channel titled "BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!! || BABY #4."
First-Time Adoptive Parents
On Myka's channel, the couple disclosed they were looking to adopt their fourth child. Myka explained that "the United States and Africa were parts where our hearts were originally interested in," regarding where to adopt from.
A Lengthy Journey
The Stauffers had every intention of letting their devoted subscribers in on the entirety of the adoption process. No, really; Myka uploaded a total of 27 videos to her channel regarding the ins and outs of their "adoption journey."
Adopting Huxley
They documented everything from fundraising efforts to learning the confusing international adoption laws. And while the Stauffers initially had their hearts set on the US or Africa, they wound up adopting a little boy from China. Named Huxley, this sweet little boy had special needs.
Huxley's Medical Conditions
See, the adoption agency informed the Stauffers that Huxley sadly had a brain tumor and “brain damage." But when little Huxley finally arrived in the United States, Myka and James were met with some disquieting surprises.
The Full Truth
It turned out that the adoption agency seemingly forgot to notify the Stauffers that Huxley had not only endured a stroke in utero, but also had been diagnosed with autism and a sensory processing disorder. Huxley's list of special needs nearly tripled, and Myka and James panicked.
Beautiful and Special
But despite the inner turmoil the couple faced, Myka spoke to the press as if everything was perfect. In a September 2019 Parade article, Myka described the international adoption process as "beautiful and special."
Hardships and Hiccups
"Is there hardships and hiccups that you may not have faced being in the U.S.? Totally. However, you’re giving that child a future that would have never been possible," Myka continued. For years after the couple officially got their special boy, Myka uploaded YouTube videos dedicated to him.
Sponsors Galore
The video titled “5 Things I Didn't EXPECT About Our China ADOPTION! International ADOPTION,” was sponsored by baby laundry detergent brand Dreft. Brands like Good American, Fabletics and Ibotta sponsored some of Myka's other videos. They were making a lot of money off of videos featuring Huxley.
Millions of Viewers
With loads of sponsors comes loads of cash, and though not every video featuring Huxley was monetized, they all garnered crazy amounts of views. The video titled "Huxley's EMOTIONAL Adoption VIDEO!! GOTCHA DAY China Adoption" amassed 5.5 million views. With the help of Huxley, they built their brand.
A Sudden Change
But it wasn't long before the super dedicated fans, who couldn't wait to see the newest adventures of Huxley and his new American family, were quick to notice the sudden halt of Instagram posts and YouTube videos featuring the little one. In May 2020, they found out why.
A Disconcerting Video
Myka uploaded a video to her channel featuring the couple looking pretty gosh darn sad. "For us, it's been really hard hearing from the medical professionals, a lot of their feedback, and things that have been upsetting. We've never wanted to be in this position," James began.
Needing More
"I think what Jim is trying to say is that after multiple assessments, after multiple evaluations, numerous medical professionals have felt that he needed a different fit and that (with) his medical needs, he needed more," Myka explained, looking heartbroken.
Goodbye Huxley
"There's not an ounce of our body that doesn't love Huxley with all of our being," Myka clarified. "Do I feel like a failure as a mom? Like, 500%," she later said. When she explained that Huxley was living with a "new mommy" in a "forever home," people lost their minds.
Broken Bonds
The Stauffers admitting to "rehoming" Huxley created a social media firestorm. Many viewers felt like the Stauffers had treated Huxley as if his conditions had made him unworthy of their time. The years-long bonds Huxley formed with his three siblings and somewhat-shoddy parents were sadly broken.
Social Media Firestorm
"What kind of person adopts a toddler into a family with other kids for YEARS, uses his likeness & story for profit and then quietly gets rid of him like a puppy because his special needs are 'too hard'??" Chondra Echert Sanchez wrote on Twitter.
"Great" Foster Care
While others were more sympathetic, most comments were similar to Chondra's. Writer and editor Sophie Ross always followed along on Huxley's journey, even staying in contact with people close to him. At the end of May, she notified her worried Twitter followers that he was "in a GREAT foster home."
Adoption, Take 2
"So apparently this foster family *is* in the process of officially adopting him, which is amazing news. It sounds like Huxley found a safe and loving permanent home and won’t be bouncing around or displaced again after this," Sophie continued on Twitter. The Stauffers still weren't let off the hook.
An Investigation
The Delaware County Sheriff's Office opened a case investigating the Stauffers after receiving a plethora of requests for a welfare check on Huxley. The Delaware County police closed the case once they met with Huxley's "prospective adoptive parents."
All Good Signs
Deputy Susanna Leonard relayed that Huxley "seemed very active and showed no signs of any abuse from what I could visually see." She continued, "When we walked into the office, [Huxley's] adoptive mother was singing a song to him as he was sitting on her lap smiling."
Lessons Learned
Once having well over 700,000 subscribers, Myka Stauffer's channel has dipped into the 600,000s and continues to fall. While we can only hope the Stauffers live a happy life with their biological children, Kova, Jaka, Radley and Onyx, many ex-fans have a different hope for the couple.
Adoption Secrets
These ex-fans hope Myka and James have learned lessons regarding child exploitation and the cost of making life-altering decisions. Adopting a child truly is a life-altering decision, especially when that child comes from the worst humanity has to offer. A little girl in Bulgaria had faced humanity's worst every day since birth.
Meet Hasya
Hasya weighed only 14 pounds. And so her weak little body lay in a crib, the same protective bed given to babies a fraction of her age. In fact, the young teen had spent all of her 14 years enclosed and unmoved in that very piece of baby furniture.
Hanging On By A Thread
Hasya had cerebral palsy and she was blind. Moreover, the care she received in Bulgaria was extremely poor and neglectful. The poor little girl was hanging to life by a thread. She wouldn’t have survived much longer if someone hundreds of miles away hadn't heard her story.
A World Away
Halfway around the world in Wellington, Colorado, Adeye and Anthony Salem happened to read about the young girl’s loveless upbringing. Adeye was an adoption advocate herself who often shared the stories of children like Hasya who were in desperate need of a family’s love and support. She and her husband were immediately moved by the young girl’s story.
"We just started crying"
“Seeing the pictures, we just started crying,” she said. “We knew it would be so hard, but after talking about it one night, there was not one reason good enough to say no. Everything we came up with sounded like an excuse.”
Lots Of Kids
However, this wasn't the first time the Salems had adopted a child with special needs, and nor would it be the last. Although at some point in their marriage, Adeye had actually thought any more than two children would be a handful: “He wanted four kids, and I only wanted two – I thought he was crazy,” Adeye told Dodge.
Their Three Sons
And early on, the couple did indeed have two sons, Connor and Kellan. Adeye felt complete and finished with the experience of pregnancy. “But something changed in my heart,” is how she described her decision to have a third child to Dodge. And so she and Anthony welcomed their third son, Cade, shortly thereafter.
A Change Of Heart
And one day Adeye happened to pick up a magazine which featured a story about the large population of orphaned girls in China. The country valued its boys, it seemed, but many daughters ended up unwanted in orphanages. And upon reading of their plight Adeye felt, as she had put it before, a change in her heart.
Newfound Passion
Adeye and Anthony were moved to visit a Chinese orphanage. “Nothing could prepare us for what we saw that day, just so many children with, a lot of them very minor, very correctible needs, in an orphanage. It absolutely broke our hearts,” Adeye told Fox 31 Denver. The couple adopted four-year-old Hannah-Claire from China after their visit, and Adeye became a voice in the international adoption community.
Little Haven
Then, within this community, other advocates happened to share the story of Haven. Sadly, the little girl with special needs had been abused in her orphanage in China. As a result, she suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and intellectual disabilities. Moreover, her new adoptive family felt ill-equipped to care for her. Upon hearing her story, the Salems decided they wanted Haven as their daughter.
Growing Family
“Having five children seemed like a lot to people, but still doable, I guess,” Adeye said in a blog post. In 2010, the big-hearted couple welcomed two more daughters into their family: Hailee and Harper, both from Ukraine, and both with special needs, too. Two years later, Adeye again felt a pang for yet another child abandoned thousands of miles away.
Learning Hasya's Story
“I leaned over toward Anthony and said, ‘There are some things that my human heart cannot fathom,’” she recalled in a blog post. “Sometimes there just are no words,” she said as she stared down at images of Hasya, the emaciated young girl confined to a crib, who smiled despite her situation.
"Completely abandoned"
Adeye described the girl’s day-to-day life: “Helpless. Lying in her own waste day in and day out. Only fed enough to barely keep her alive. A little girl who is so thin that every bone in her body is protruding and who is so frail that it feels like her body will break by just being held. Completely abandoned!”
Racing Against The Clock
It took the Salems just 36 hours to decide they wanted to make Hasya part of their family, too. And so on April 10, 2012, Adeye announced that the girl was officially their daughter. Moreover, the Bulgarian government worked to fast-track the paperwork, realizing just how fragile the girl’s situation was.
So Sick
Furthermore, the Salems’ round-the-world trek to pick up their new daughter brought them in touch with another child in need: 8-year-old Kael. The little boy suffered from Down syndrome and was frail from malnourishment. Kael and Hasya flew home with the Salems in January 2013. However, the girl was so sick she almost didn’t make it back.
Slow Road To Recovery
In Colorado, Hasya received the care she lacked. Human contact, love and, of course, proper nutrition helped her begin to regain her strength. She had put on 26 pounds, but was still dangerously underweight. Moreover, the condition of her spine deteriorated to the point where medical professionals had to intervene.
Life-Changing Surgery
And so the family sought care at Rocky Mountain Hospital for Children. Haysa had now turned 18, but her back was curved at what was nearly a 90-degree angle and she weighed just 40 pounds. In stepped Dr. Jaren Riley to helm the life-changing surgery the teen so desperately needed.
New Hope
“We used titanium screws and a rod, called cobalt chromium, that allows us to straighten things out and she straightened out incredibly well,” Dr. Riley told Fox 31 Denver. Indeed afterward, Hasya measured four inches taller and could actually sit up in her wheelchair – a far cry from her years spent lying in a crib.
One Small Step
“She just is so courageous, I can’t tell you,” Anthony told Fox 31 Denver. But he and his wife – now the proud parents of nine kids – know this is just a small step in the journey of caring for children with such varied needs.
A Loving Family
However, both Anthony and Adeye feel nothing but grateful for the life they’ve chosen – and the opportunity to change the lives of children forgotten by the international adoption system. “It’s busy and we don’t sit down very often,” Adeye told Fox 31 Denver. “But we just absolutely love caring for our family.”
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